Homeschooling - Why We Chose It
We moved to West Virginia in May of 2003. In September of 2004, my oldest son started kindergarten. Like most kids, this was a huge change from his routine,and like most parents, we worried about him when he was at school. See, my son has Cerebral Palsy, a result of a stroke he suffered around the time of his birth. He is not profoundly handicapped, but he does have some needs that other kids might not. Having someone outside of our family tend to those needs scared the crap out of us.
He seemed to like it well enough. I think the sense of independence made him feel good. Unfortunately, this did not last long. His personality started to change. He was always very happy and out going and he started to become a bit introverted. He even started to ask if he could stay home from school.
After speaking with our son, we found out that there was a girl in his class who was constantly picking on him and bullying him. The worst incident was a day that my son asked us if he could buy his own lunch at school instead of bring one. We agreed and he took some of his own money so he could buy lunch. At lunch that day, he went and ordered his own lunch and paid for it with his own money. As he walked away from the cashier, the girl who had been bullying him pushed him from behind and caused him to fall and spill his lunch all over the floor. This devastated him, and nearly crushed his desire to go to school.
We decided we needed to discuss the situation with his teacher. Now, I may be old fashioned, but you should get a war and fuzzy feeling form your child's kindergarten teacher. This was not the case with son's teacher, she was like the Ice Queen. She looked angry all the time, and was very abrupt when she answered questions. After discussing this incident and other similar incidents we were basically told, 'Its just kids being kids.' Not something you want to hear when its one of your kids involved.
As is the case with most parents, when we dropped off my son, or picked him up, we would talk with other parents, especially the parents of children in the same class. Thinking maybe we were overreacting, my wife discussed some of the issues we had (such as the way the teacher spoke to the children). Seems we were not the only ones who had these issues. Yet, somehow, the teacher found out that my wife had these discussions and one day was summoned to the principal's office. She was asked not to discuss this teacher with any other parent while on school property. She was being treated like one of the children.
The straw that pretty much broke the camel's back was actually behavior my wife mentioned she observed between the teacher, teacher's aide and another child in the class. There was a bot who befriended my son. It was obvious he came from a family that had a difficult time making ends meet. He is also African-American. I only mention this because I feel it important to the story. One day, around Christmas, the school had one of those little 'stores' set up so kids could buy little gifts. Each class was brought down to the 'store' together, with the help of some 'class moms', of which my wife was one, to buy stuff. This child could not buy anything as he did not have any money. Feeling sorry for him, my wife let him pick something out for himself that she would pay for. While the class was lead back to their classroom, my wife paid for the item the child wanted.
When she returned to the room, the teacher and teacher's aide were yelling at the child because they assumed he stole the item, even though the child and my son both told them my wife paid for it. My wife was mortified, and even after she told the teacher that she did pay for the item, they assumed my wife was trying to cover for the child.
Even before this episode, we had discussed other options, such as requesting he be moved to a different classroom (which the school was reluctant to do), change schools (which the school board was reluctant to do and the closest private school was about 30 miles away) and homeschooling. I have to admit, when my wife first mentioned homeschooling, I was against it. I had know 3 people in my life, to that point, who were homeschooled, and they were all really weird. But, it was still a viable option.
After much debate and discussion we decided to try homeschooling for the rest of the school year and then revisit the issue in the summer. My wife did tons of research on curriculums, and even joined the TORCH group (a home school group at the church) so we would have plenty of resources available to us.
In January of 2005, after the Christmas break, we (more accurately, my wife, began homeschooling our son. Almost immediately, he reverted back to the happy-go-lucky kid we knew and loved. And I think it was more beneficial for my wife than it was for my son. As part of the TORCH group, he went on class trips, and was invited to social gatherings. The little experiment was a success, and we decided that as long as it was a viable option (meaning as long as we thought it was what was best for our kids) we would continue to homeschool them.
My attitude towards homeschooling has changed and I have become somewhat of an advocate for it. it is not perfect, it is difficult and it is not for everyone, but for our children, at this point in their lives, we feel this will benefit them more than going to public school. As a priest, who is a good friend of mine, said, 'During their most impressionable years, you kids will spend all day, every day, in a loving, caring environment. Nothing else will do more for your children's self esteem and confidence than that.'
