As I mentioned a short while ago, my father was diagnosed with cancer back around Christmas. It is sad to say that this past Wednesday, my father passed away. Thankfully, his whole family was able to be with him when he passed.
I was asked to give a eulogy, and I wanted to share that with you.
My father was known by many names: Eugene, Butch, Uncle Gene, Yash, Dad, Be-pa - and quite a few I cannot mention because we are in church. But, regardless of what you called him, he holds a special place in all of our hearts. And, though he may be gone from us, there will always be a part of him in each and every one of us.
He had a unique way of lighting up a room when he entered and, whether he meant it or not, he would have everyone laughing when he left. Some people say he marched to the beat of a different drum. Honestly, I am not sure he even knew what instrument he was hearing, but he marched on.
My father was not a complex man, what you saw is what you got. He rarely pulled any punches and you always knew where you stood with him. He was one of the most quick witted people I have ever known and at times, surprisingly innocent.
It would be difficult to sum up a person in just a few words. But, I can sum up my dad in just 6 words. 6 words that give you a peak into who my dad really was and what he was really like. 6 words that show his wit and his innocence. Those 6 words are, "In My neighbors yard" and "Welcome back".
To those who may not get the reference, those words are the 'punchlines' to two of my favorite 'dad' stories. I am sure we all have our favorites.
The first story was from a long time ago when we were very young. Our neighbors, the Clarks, had a dog who did not like too many people. One day my dad went to go pet the dog and the dog bit him.
My mom took him to the hospital and the nurse asked him what happened and my dad said, "I got bit by my neighbor's dog". The nurse then asked, "Where did he bite you?" My father replied, "In my neighbor's yard"
The other story took place quite a few years later. My father and my brother, Gene, had gone to Madison Square Garden to see a sporting event. As was often the case when we went to Madison Square Garden, they took the train. After the game, Gene and my dad got on a train to come home and it was really crowded they had to stand up. A group of kids near them got up from their seats and walked away. My dad and Gene took their spot. A few minutes later, the kids returned. Expecting to get their seats back, one of the kids said, "We're back". My dad looked up at them and replied, "Welcome back"
Besides his family, there is little that my father loved more than the New York Yankees, the New York Giants, Villanova basketball and golf. In the last few years he was able to see Villanova make it to the Final Four, the Yankees win the World Series, the Giants win the Super Bowl, and he played golf, not only in Scotland, but at The Old Course at St Andrews - the birthplace of golf.
138 days. Its been 138 days since my dad was first diagnosed with cancer. In my mind, its been 138 days since we lost him to cancer. In my mind, cancer stole his soul long before it took his life.
My wife, Jessica, has a saying that she uses with our children after vacations, trips to their grandparents' house or even just special days. Many times over the last few days thinking of this saying has helped ease the pain of losing my dad, and it is truly fitting when thinking of how Dad lived his life:
Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
Words cannot express how much I am going to miss him.
8 comments
"And, though he may be gone from us, there will always be a part of him in each and every one of us" says it all. Your Dad would have proud of you.